"FFFFAAAAILLLL-UURREE!!"

I must admit i'm pretty disappointed in myself. Surprsingly, i never thought i'd be like this,but its not the end of the world.
Jibbed off key skills for the 3rd week in a row, and jibbing off bmore too and i've not been to form for a couple of weeks either.
But in all fairness, i didn't join college for basic ICT, bmore, form time or any of that shit. I joined for my lessons,which in all fairness, i'm not really interested in either.
2/4 isn't as bad as it could be though.

but hey, instead, i'm going to take the whoooooooooooole day off, job art too, which is probably good cos i will actually get more done at home today i reckon!..well..ha.

Anyway, mums pissed off cos we came to the agreement that i leave college when i've completed this first year and do something else; not a childcare NVQ or any of that shit she wishes me to be.
She seriously didn't take me..seriously?..when i told her i want a tattoo apprenticeship after college.

She's so rich to talk though,she always said, you want to be in a job that gets you good money and thqat you enjoy and to be honest, working in a tattoo shop would gain me both of those things! not shitty, under-paid childcare, which would most probably make me broody all the time! as if i need that.

but yeh today, i'm gonna have myself a nice day off instead of going to the place i hate most right now.

Bit of a delayed report.

Chad's birthday last friday i believe, it was good! i made new friends, saw matt's knob.. various times(unsure whether thats a good or bad thing yet!), smoked like a full pack of fags, danced and realised just how much a cutie will is.
however, like most things in my life, it turned sour at a couple of points. Especially the white sick that came out my mouth on the way home haha... if only i'd took a picture!!

I just hope this friday is just as fun if not more, without my fags and drinking.

EDGEEEEEEEEE u guyzzz,
no.. not really...really.

Tell me your secrets...

Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.

Here's goes...6th of November 2009

Firstly, happy birthday to possibly the shittest friend i have ever acquired.
dickdickdickdickdick...

WGSFG is a hell hole. I returned for about an hour today, some shitty awards ceremony thing and got my GCSE certificates, within 5 minutes of being in the building i was repeatedly telling bekki how i was going home immediately she told me i wasn't and like a dumb puppy i stayed. I also triest my hardest to retain the tears that were ready to trickle their mindless little ways down my face, due to seeing my once best friend get a smile and a "hi" and that was it....that was it ? wow after nearly 2 fucking years of..well i cant put a word to it, but i've never loved a friend so much.

i then had to walk up on stage, how many eyes watching i dont know cos i didnt look at one single person, i must have looked like such a depressive fuck, walkin up and down the stage with my hand infront of my face(rubbing my nose) and eyes glued to the floor as if it was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen, then whilst working my fat body between 2 rows of seats back to my own, silly me decided it would be a fantastic idea to drop my certificates...well done.

i then decided to go for a walk around all the rooms that gave me the most laughs, chemo,maths&bio, oh the times. i miss them immature bitches, stuffy classrooms, slow hours and shit food so much. Whoever would have thought that I , of all people, would miss it so much, it felt so weird,looking back into them rooms, just reflected faint dreams id had, that were far from real.

It doesn't feel like it ever happened.

i then progressed to wait in the bus stop in the pouring rain with bekki and chain smoke 3 ciggarettes.
...then return home, exercise my fat arse&stomach off, think about todays glorious events and everything else in my life and think "why?"and .."what the fuck do i do?.." and then publish a blog :)
BOOM.

How Creative...

So, i've thought about starting a blog before(secretly..) despite maybe putting the idea down on occasion..?..however i saw a woman on t.v talking about her blogspot and how she likes to write stuff down what people can view at their choice. I then saw that my boyfriend had gotten himself a cheeky little blog and thought well.. if this is what all the cool people are doing now then why the fuck not stick my foot in their too.
I warn this is probably going to be a place for my ramblings when i dare say they are soooo needed.
After a fucking horrific today i thought, today, to me sounds like a better fuckin day than any to start publishing my rants.